


Rights and Wrongs

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, First Times, M/M, Series: The Stalker Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair is getting letters and calls, and Jim's protective nature kicks in.  Three stories all together, one plot.<br/>This story is a sequel to Protected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rights and Wrongs

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of a series rewritten. This is the gentler 

## Rights and Wrongs

by Sarah Saint Ives

version of a dark and troubled story I wrote days after I recovered from a month-long coma. 

* * *

"What are you doing up at four in the morning?" Jim Ellison asked as descended the stairs in gray silk boxers. 

Blair Sandburg looked up and the apprehension on his gentle face caused Jim to revert into the protector mode. "Sorry if I woke you. You're not mad, are you?" 

Jim gazed at him with sad affection. "No, Blair. I'm not mad. What's wrong?" 

The tension went out of the young man's face. "I just can't sleep. I can't help thinking about this guy who keeps calling me. What's his problem, anyway? Why is he focused on me like this? What did I do to attract his attention?" 

Jim yawned, scratched his ass and went to the refrigerator for a beer, then returned to sit on the couch beside his pondering friend. "Have you looked in a mirror lately, Chief? You're pretty. Pretty people attract crazies who can't get dates." 

"You think I'm pretty?" Blair asked, scooting closer to him. 

"I _know_ you're pretty. Blair, you're beautiful. It's not just my opinion. It's a physical fact." 

"Is that why you love me so much?" 

"No. I love you because you're also beautiful on the inside." 

Blair smiled at him. "So are you." he said softly. "Inside and out." 

Jim chose to ignore the compliment. "Listen, Chief. We have to talk, and now's as good a time as any." 

"About what?" 

Jim hesitated before voicing his thoughts. "You thought I was gonna beat your ass the other night. You seemed to think you deserved it. In fact, you even acted like you _wanted_ it. Tell me about that, Blair." 

"Jim, I'll do what you say from now on. I promise." 

"No, Blair, that's not the point." Jim took a long swig of his beer and set it down. "I'll never hit you in anger. Never. No matter what you do. I promise. I had a little talk with the shrink at the station yesterday, and he said it sounded like you had a history abuse. Those were my suspicions, too." 

Blair opened his mouth to speak, then looked away silently. 

"Blair, say what you want to say. You're free to do and say what you want. I love you. I want to take care of you. I want to hold you, and kiss you, and touch you. I want to spoil you rotten. I want to do a lot of things with you. I want to do _everything_ with you for the rest of my life. But the one thing I will never, ever do.....is hurt you. Never, babe. But I'd like it if you'd tell me who _did_ hurt you." 

Blair took hold of his hand and absently traced the fingernails. "In most religious cultures, discipline is a way of life. It's everywhere, Jim. Parents beat their children, husbands beat their wives, teachers beat the students, brothers and sisters beat up on each other. It's generally accepted. Even the Bible condones it. As long as there are no broken bones or deaths, it's cool." 

"Not by me, Chief. Not cool." Jim said. 

"A lot of people get sexually stimulated by pain. Spanking is a big turn-on." 

Jim gave him a quick glance. "To _you_?" he asked. 

Blair couldn't look at him. After a long pause, he said, "Not exactly a turn-on. Do you want to hear about it?" 

"Yeah, I want to hear about it." Jim squeezed his hand. 

"I'll trade you. My story for yours." 

" _My_ story?" Jim frowned. "I have no story. What are you talking about?" 

Blair's blue eyes finally rose. "You kiss me, you've told me how much you love me, you hold me and pet me constantly, but you haven't made love to me, yet. Something's wrong. I want you to fuck me...." 

"Blair!" 

Blair winced at the tone and Jim quickly hugged him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell." 

"Jim...." 

"Okay. Agreed. I'll tell you mine if you'll tell me yours. We have to start somewhere." 

The anthropologist nodded. "Okay." 

Jim waited patiently, gave him time to gather himself and begin. Meanwhile, the sentinel slid a hand behind the curly head and began to massage the back of his neck. 

"That feels good." Blair said, rolling his head around. "I love that you touch me so much. I love to be touched." 

"I know you do." 

Blair shifted and laid down on his stomach, his head and upper chest on Jim's lap, his cheek resting against his bare thigh. "I'd do anything to make you love me, Jim. Anything." 

"You don't have to do anything, baby. I love you. I'll always love you. Just be yourself. Just do what Blair would do, say what Blair would say." He massaged the smaller man's back fondly. 

Deep in thought, Blair's finger circled Jim's kneecap. "It didn't all come from the same person, Jim. Maybe that's why I feel so messed up. Everybody I ever needed was like that. Every man and woman I ever got close to." 

"Tell me." Jim said very quietly. 

"I never considered it abuse. It started when I was a child, and no matter who whipped my ass, afterward, they always lavished love and attention on me because they felt bad about beating me." 

Jim drew in a long, trembling breath, but did not interrupt. 

"Way back when I was a little kid, I started doing things just to piss them off so they _would_ whip me. I know that sounds pretty sick, but it got me a new bike, new books, and a lot of hugs and kisses over the years. I felt like I was loved. All I had to do was be submissive and let them do it." 

"Blair..." 

"I know, Jim. I know. Let me finish, okay?" 

"Go ahead." 

"Even women liked beating my ass. I never had a girlfriend who let me get on top. Everybody wanted to slap me around. I evidently fell into that role as a masochist and drew out the sadist in everyone." He paused to rub at his eyes. "I did this to you, too, Jim, or at least I tried. I played my part just like always, hoping you would snap. I wanted you to. I wanted you to beat me." 

"Why?" Jim asked, stunned. "Why would you do that, Blair?" 

"Because I needed you. I need you to love me and you didn't love me enough. I knew you'd feel guilty if I made you hit me. I knew you'd kiss me and hold me. I thought you'd also make love to me, but you haven't done that, yet." 

Jim was staring at him in open-mouthed shock. "Blair! Do you know how wrong that was? Do you know how...." 

"Pathetic?" Blair offered the word. "Yeah, I know." He rolled over on his back, his head still in Jim's lap. "You want to give me a spanking for doing that to you?" It was a pitiful attempt to lighten the mood. 

Jim gently caressed his cheek. "I want you to go see the shrink. Blair, I meant what I said. I'll never hit you. You can have all the love you need, as much as I can give you." 

"Really? Starting when?" 

"Whenever you want it, baby." 

"Will you make love to me?" 

Jim lifted him to a sitting position and kissed him lightly. "If that's what you want." 

"Why are you being so reluctant to make love to me?" 

"Reluctant?" 

"It's your turn now. Tell me why you won't fuck me. It's too obvious that you don't really want to. Are you afraid of doing it with another man? Have you ever even been with a man before?" 

Jim urged him over until he was sitting in his lap. "No, Blair, truthfully, I haven't been with a man before. I want you, Blair, god knows I want you, baby, but I don't understand how you can be so hot for me to do that to you. If I go inside you, I could hurt you. Is that what you want me to do?" 

"Well, yeah. I know you won't hurt me, Jim. You'll be gentle." 

"Can you feel how big I am?" 

"I know you're big. That really turns me on." Blair smiled suggestively at him. 

Jim nodded and gave him another soft kiss. "Agree to see the shrink tomorrow....or today, since it's already past four in the morning, and we'll go upstairs and try this." 

"I'll agree to do anything if it's what you want." Blair said. 

"I just want you to talk to him and tell him what you just told me." 

"Okay." Blair kissed him, slipping a hand between them to stroke Jim's cock through the silk boxers. "Now, take me to bed. I want you." 

Jim smiled at him. "Your wish is my command." he said. He stood, lifting Blair effortlessly in his arms, and carried him up the stairs. 

* * *

The police psychologist was booked solid, so Blair made an appointment for the following week. Folding into his chair at the table, he delicately sipped herbal tea, his bright eyes on Jim's unblinking gaze. "Jim?" he said. "Are you zoning, man?" 

"No, I'm just thinking." 

"About the stalker?" 

Jim's eyes turned to him and he smiled. "Are you a mind reader now?" he asked. 

"It's not hard to read yours." Blair answered. 

"If I stayed close, taped a wire to you, it just might work." 

Blair looked pensive. "What might work?" 

"Using you to catch him." 

"For real? You'd let me do that? You'd be okay with that, really?" 

"No, not really. But you're the only one who can draw him out. We need to get him out of the way so I don't have to worry so much about you." 

Blair beamed at him. "When do you want to start?" he asked, excitedly. 

"Tonight, if you're up to it." 

"I'm ready whenever you are." 

Jim leaned to kiss him. "After we catch him, what do you think about a fishing trip?" 

"Fishing trip? Just you and me?" 

"Yeah. Just you and me." 

"That sounds great." Blair kissed him again and gave him a long look of burning desire. "Make me yours, Jim, like you did last night." 

"You _are_ mine, Blair. My everything. I know there's probably something morally or socially wrong with everything I do, with everything I want. Any way I turn, somebody could perceive me as a bad person, but I don't care what other people think or say. I love you, more than I've ever loved anybody else in my entire life. I've never been this obsessed with anyone before. You make me feel almost unimportant because you're so much in the spotlight." 

"Jim, you're important! You said that before, that I made you feel 'unessential'. How could you feel that way? You're the most important person in my whole life!" 

"Simple, Chief. You outshine me." 

"That's crazy." 

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it?" 

"Jim, I have profound respect for you. I'm in love with you. I would die for you. How much more important can anyone be?" 

Jim kissed him with passion. "My love." he murmured. 

Blair giggled very close to his face, feathered kisses all over his cheeks and lips. "You're very good at making love, too. So gentle, but so powerful." 

"Powerful?" 

"Yeah. You're still a cave-man, Jim, no matter how hard you try to suppress those tendencies." 

"Cave man?...." 

Blair laughed. "Don't get all flustered. If it bothers you that your cave man tendencies turn me on.....then I'm kidding." 

"I just hope you don't think that's the way it really is. I've done things in my life I'm not proud of, but I'm not a cave-man in bed. Especially not with you." 

"No, you're a _jaguar_ in bed." Blair kissed him again, then added with loving, dancing eyes, "Thank you for letting me on top." 

end  
saintives@goplay.com 

* * *

End Rights and Wrongs. 


End file.
